6 REASONS WHY I QUIT MY JOB

"Why would anyone quit a good paying job?" This has always been a question by many when someone leave their jobs for something less of monetary value. But then you will never fully comprehend such decision until you find yourself in that situation.

"You will eventually love your job since it pays well." HUH! Wishing it was that easy. "But the world is difficult, you have to work hard for a living." Not the first time you've heard that huh? So, Am I crazy for quitting? Maybe I am, maybe I am not. Well, here are my reasons:


1. CONSTANT ANXIETY & DEPRESSION

It is a fact that most men are dreading the first day of work, but what I felt was different. At first I thought everyone feels the same way I do, however there came a point where I would wake up every morning being miserable, depressed and tired.

It wasn't just about being lazy, it's that as each day passed I became more unhappy, dispirited, and uninspired. Crying before going to work, and after work because I have to do it all over again. And as I fast forward a view of what my life would look like, I didn't like the picture of seeing myself staying/feeling this way over and over again.

People advised me to take a break, and I did. I traveled, I splurged, I went to parties, I sought spiritual help but to no success. It was the worst feeling I ever felt, and it still haunts me 'til this day.


2. ABSENCE OF PURPOSE

I couldn't see the point of what I was doing. I lose the motivation to work. The glow I had; cheerfulness, enthusiasm and positivism slowly faded, and I became apathetic. Yes, I had finished one task and another however, I wasn't -- fulfilled. I somehow got lost on the process where I could no longer see my value and my strengths.

I tried to trick myself on believing on some made-up purpose, but to no success. I guess I was smarter than that.


3. EXHAUSTION FROM REPETITIVE ATTEMPTS

I am not the type of giving up easily. I put my ass to work for more than 2 years. I opened myself to criticisms, to being reprimanded, and to changes to be able to adapt the values that my work required. More than that, to prove that I was willing to become better, I enrolled a short course that my superiors remarked as my 'need for improvement' area.

I gave my best, best and best shot. I have given it countless of chances to redeem myself back and to make my 'work' work, but to no success.


4. PHASE OF SELF-DEPRECATING

As the headline goes, "Girl with Scholastic Honor Disappoints Everyone", I think this was known in the entire office (hahahaha). Kidding aside, I began looking down on myself, and belittling my value. Having a ratio of 4:1, 4 for my failures, and 1 for my accomplishment (for having a job). Maybe I was too hard on myself, but I made failing a hobby, lucky enough that they didn't fire me.

Though I still put on my fighting spirit. I researched and studied my work. I did self-help test online to change my perspective. I picked up some courage and consulted my superior for improvement advice, but still to no success.


5. LOSS DUE TO INFERIORITY 

With so much pressure I placed on myself and so much effort I put on my work, still it wasn't even good enough. I felt very insecure and my morale had been trashed, stepped on, and burned.

I was consumed by the negativity that surrounded me; it had eaten me alive, and there's no escape from it. It was no longer a healthy environment.


6. UNFITTED OPPORTUNITY

Despite the emotional challenges, I still am very grateful for having a job. It made me stronger, wiser and more mature. I admit that all those adversities were my fault, there's no one to blame but me (I read that from a self-help book I bought).

I realized not all opportunities we choose will deliver the outcome we expected,  it maybe for the best or the worst. The job I had could have been the best but it never worked out. No matter how much I've tried, my heart wasn't set out for it. Though it had played an important part of my life, it made me who I am now, and led me to where I should be.

(Apologies for dragging out negative vibes)


Yes, we all have to make hard decisions and it's a matter of knowing your priorities. No doubt, all of us wanted a good life, but someone asked me, what is my definition of a good life anyway?

I did what I had to do because  I have to run my life through the course I wanted. I wouldn't want to regret the things I could have done when I still have the chance.

If there is something I've learned from the experience, there is no such thing as easy money,  and there are no shortcuts in life. So whatever it is you want to achieve, you still have to go through challenges before reaching your goal.

It is a scary step, and the next chapter is even more challenging. But, I am optimistic with fingers crossed that the next job will actually be what I like and feel proud of.

Given this time I know what I am capable of; I never give up without putting my best shot, I push myself to my limits, and I go beyond what I expect from myself. 

So what's next for me you asked? I will let you know soon. (wink wink)